Imagine being a rape survivor, and finding out that your traumatic experience now falls under the same hashtag as Joe Biden grabbing someone’s shoulders. Shit would probably be a little insulting, don’t ya think? And yea, I could make a joke on that (at least on the latter) cause I’ve been more sexually assaulted than […]
April 8 – Table Lady
So I was watching someone’s Instagram story over the weekend, of them at the most elaborate wedding I’ve ever seen. Mermaids, fire dancers, and Indian emcees that managed to fly out all the way out from India to what looks like Miami. But you know what really took the (wedding) cake? There was a lady […]
March 28 – Head vs. Heart…and Genitals?
When rational people begin getting all sentimental, it’s because sentimental people are acting irrationally. I think there lies the truth in the head vs. heart debate. I’m pretty sure you could toss in genitals somewhere too, but you get what I mean. Anyways, that was the most quoteworthy shit I’ve thought up in a while. […]
March 27 – Toxic Femininity
So I’ll admit that there are some toxic elements to masculinity, which have led to lasting negative results, but could we agree that “toxic femininity” is also a thing? Shit only makes sense in every yin/yang duality concept since the history of forever. Look, ladies, not every woman is a “queen”. That’s not how feudalism […]
March 25 – Flat Tire
So I was spending the better part of an hour jumping on lug nut wrenches and shit tryna change my flat tire, and the number of people that went out of their way to offer me help made me so fucking happy. A lady even brought me a water bottle and a can of Sprite. […]
March 24 – Punching Nazis
I got a real fucked moral compass yo. Like I’m all about punching Nazis and all, but I’m also all about protecting their right to free speech. Probably so I could punch them. I mean it’s not every day shit like that gets condoned. “Punching Nazis” wasn’t even a chronologically relevant phrase until a couple […]
March 20 – Habibi
So I made friends with this Syrian homie who calls me “habibi”. Google translate is telling me that he’s calling me his “love”…which admittedly, is kinda gay…buttfuckit I’ll take it. That shit sounds way too dope. Still, the fact that I’m kicking it with Muslim people is probably mortifying for my ancestors rn up in […]
March 19 – Selling Your Soul
I sold my soul to the Devil, and the motherfucker never came through on his end of the bargain. The only reason I do good is to spite him.
March 16 – Charisma is a Bitch
So I’ve been watching a lot of documentaries lately of some people doing some fucked things (i.e. R. Kelly, Ted Bundy, Jim Jones), and one common thing among all these guys is that they are charismatic narcissists. That shit has me scared, cause honestly I could charm a fucking gypsy if I wanted to. Seriously, […]
March 15th – Toilet Paper Roll
So I had this one girl over the other day to watch Game of Thrones (cause she ain’t hip yet), and to mess around a little (let’s be honest). I met her off a dating app called Bumble, so I didn’t know what to expect. I mean I’ve fucked around on my fair share of […]
